It’s great to come across an article that informs, educates and just plain makes you makes you feel good. Ever since Kathy and I published our asset-based thinking book for teens, “Change The Way You See Everything- For TEENS” we have be amazed and inspired by teens putting ABT into action in more ways than we could have imagined. The chapter on relationships discusses the importance of valuing relationships and making meaningful connections with peers and friends. Here’s a great example we found in a wonderful article written by Sarah Kershaw in this week’s NY Times entitled  For Teenagers, Hello Means ‘How About A Hug?’.

The article features teens in Pascack Hills High School in Montvale, NJ. It turns out that teens have turned the practice of hugging into their new personalized form of greeting. These are not the romantic hugs we usually associate with the word. These hugs are much different than that. Among teens, hugs have become the new hive fives and handshakes. The article mentions more than a half of dozen types of hugs.

“Girls embracing girls, girls embracing boys, boys embracing each other — the     hug has become the favorite social greeting when teenagers meet or part these days. Teachers joke about “one hour” and “six hour” hugs, saying that students hug one another all day as if they were separated for the entire summer.”

As one would expect, in today’s world of political correctness and litigious concerns there are curbs and controls being placed on this growing form of teen expression. Many schools have strict rules on public displays of affection and touching and some have banned hugging entirely or imposed time limits on a hug.(really, timed hugs) Of course some caution is warranted, but most students say that this hugging is not romantic or sexual but just a way their generation connects and says “hello”.

“We like to get cozy,” said Katie Dea, an eighth grader at Claire Lilienthal Alternative School in San Francisco. “The high-five is, like, boring.”

Being an asset-based thinker I see the positive potential of this interesting phenomenon. The ABT axiom of the glass being both half-full and half empty at the same time applies here. It what’s in the water that matters most most. And in this instance, what’s in the water is teens making better connections with each other. One parent summed it up best.

Maybe it’s because all these kids do is text and go on Facebook so they don’t even have human contact anymore,” said Dona Eichner, the mother of freshman and junior girls at the high school in Montvale

So, if I can take some liberty with a great John Lennon phrase, “Let’s give hugs a chance”.

Hank Wasiak